By Gary Huerta Published: October 29, 2009
Gather around, and I’ll tell you a terrifying Halloween story. Some would call it a classic power struggle.
Once upon a time, in a little hillside village, there lived a humble craftsman named Escott Norton. He was a hard-working man and had earned a reputation as an honest and fair member of the community.
After many years of work, Escott saved up enough money to build a castle where he and his family could enjoy the fruits of his labors.
So Escott set off to work, designing his home to be comfortable and energy efficient. He took great pains to make sure that the house would meet the approval of the local magistrates and overlords, whose approval he needed in order to build his castle to their codes.
For more than two years Escott focused on the construction process. He dedicated himself to the task, making sure to use only minimal amounts of water and power. He knew those resources were guarded by the Grand Wizards of Power, or GWP as everyone in the village called them.
One day, as his castle neared completion, Escott and his family moved in. It was a joyous day, and Escott marveled at his good fortune. He began watering his garden. Life was good. But little did he know dark forces were gathering against him.
Two months after Escott and his family settled in, they were visited by a nobleman who worked for the Grand Wizards of Power. They had dispatched the nobleman to report on the water meter. It seemed Escott was using a lot of water, according to the GWP meter, which was never wrong.
Escott greeted the nobleman, and the two discussed the meter matter.
“Something’s not right here,” said the nobleman. “I’m not sure what the problem is, but our meter says your castle is using more than its fair share of water.”
“That can’t be,” Escott replied. “We use very little water. In fact, we don’t even have gas for heating, so our showers are indeed quite short.”
“Interesting,” said the nobleman. “But our meters are never wrong!”
A few days later, Escott awoke to find eight more GWP noblemen and numerous vehicles gathered near his castle gates. When Escott asked what was happening, they told him they were trying to ascertain why he was using so much water.
The herd of GWP noblemen scratched their heads and surmised that the meter should be removed and tested, even though they were sure it was fine.
Days went by, and Escott heard nothing. Then without any warning, another crew of men was dispatched by the GWP. The meter was scrutinized, photographed, tagged and removed for testing. A new meter was installed, and the crew disappeared.
Not long after that, Escott heard from the Grand Wizards of Power. In their wisdom, they had determined that there was nothing wrong with the meter, and that Escott and his family had used more than 1.5 million gallons of water in one billing period. That averages out to more than 24,000 gallons of water per day!
Escott was also told that he owed the GWP $5,471, and that there was no disputing it. After all, their meters were never wrong.
Being an honorable man, Escott tried reasoning with the GWP. He made phone calls and written pleas explaining how impossible it was for one family to have used millions of gallons of water. He provided explanations of how the house was constructed, how leaks could not have occurred without being noticed and how the bill was insane compared to his regular previous usage.
But the GWP refused to listen. Although they did generously offer to negotiate, telling him he could pay the entire bill in six convenient installments of $950. That was their final offer, not counting a veiled threat to file criminal theft charges.
With nowhere else to turn, Escott asked the mayor for help. He explained to the mayor that 1.5 million gallons of water is the equivalent of filling six 4,000-gallon tanker trucks every day for 60 days. And while the mayor listened with an empathetic ear, he was ultimately unable to offer any immediate relief.
It seemed to Escott that the GWP had complete autonomy to strong-arm customers into paying any fee they saw fit and tell them they must obey the meters as law.
Because after all, their meters are never wrong, and no one has any way to get their power from an alternative source.
So what is to become of Escott, the honorable man?
He’ll continue to pay the cumbersome water bill even though, as anyone can plainly see, it’s virtually impossible for one man’s castle to use 1.5 million gallons of water in a mere two months.
So take warning, fair citizens! This tale of woe should give you reason to ponder which one of us will be bullied next.
Or how many others, like Escott, are currently being subjected to GWP inquisition and forced to pay for resources they never used.
And the most chilling part of this Halloween story? It’s all true.
Times Community News
Gary Huerta
